Real, Human, Life
by ultraaaa
Summary: The human characters' log entries give insight into their histories, personalities, race, and actions on Pandora. They're not angels, they're not monsters, they're not simple. They're real, human, and full of the complexities that make up all life.
1. Chapter 1

_I loved Avatar, but I wish certain parts of it were explained with a little more depth than was possible in a regular length film. This is a collection of the human characters' video logs that gives more background and believability to the personalities and actions of characters of both races and introduces some story arcs and twists that either build upon or weren't in the original film. As I imagine them, these are complex characters whose actions have much more weight behind them than just a new love, a sudden change of heart, an evil hatred, or a profit motive._

_I'd appreciate it if you let me know what you think. Check back soon for new chapters!_

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Chapter 1

Jakey. 718.

They had him cremated today. I'm glad Mom and Dad aren't here for this. They always knew Tommy was the one with the real chance in life. I was never interested in what it took to succeed in the world, I was always trying to get out of whatever I had to do, and when I finally realized what it took, I did it in all the wrong ways. But not Tommy. Tommy knew how things worked, he was always on the team, and he was great at it. The guy got his PhD in two years. Two years! This would have killed Mom and Dad, to see this.

I mean don't get me wrong, they supported me, they loved me. They were always there for me, you know, until the end. God, I never should have told them about it, it was even worse for them than it was for me. There's like a whole separate compartment in my mind I live in most of the time, almost like a separate brain I got control of, and I just never transferred Venezuela over to it. It's something that a guy in my job had to pick up fast, you know, just to live. But Mom and Dad, they never had to build that up. Venezuela hit em like a ton of bricks. It's not like my story was new, we'd all been reading the same news stories about the military doing the same things for years, but just the fact that it was me really ended it for em. I was devastated after their murder, partly cause I missed em but more so cause I wished I didn't make their last years on Earth so terrible. They deserved time enough to get over it.

But now I'm almost glad they're gone. They shouldn't have to see this. Only two of their kids made their 21st birthday, and as far as they were concerned I never came back from South America. And now Tommy? I'd call it tragic, you know, if it was unusual.

Yeah, so I guess I'm gonna do the whole Pandora thing. Why the hell not? There's nothing for me here anymore. I'm just back here now to grab this journal and a couple other things and I'm leaving everything else. Not even grabbin pictures. Maybe eventually this place'll start stinkin so much that the landlady'll figure out I left. Gonna take a while though. Did I mention this? Yeah, they opened that new waste plant down on Landfair finally. Gotta say, it's not a pretty smell.

You know, Tommy never said so, but, I think the whole reason he wanted to leave instead of keeping his research going here was cause after Mom and Dad passed he felt like all his connections to Earth were gone. Even me. Well after tomorrow, he's gonna be right.

See ya, Tommy. Here's wishing that closing a box on a body really can send it somewhere better.

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Quaritch, Miles. Personal Journal. Y2152 Entry 244..

The new meat got here today. Finally. Six years in that cage, and they probably think they're free. Dumbasses. You rather be in a nice safe prison, everything safe and provided for, or you rather be in a place where even the dirt is trying to kill you? I know my answer. Best six years of my life went by in a flash without dreams in that hull. Wouldn't mind that kind of life right now, I'll tell you that.

Had another attack on the base again this afternoon. Those fucking hammerheads, whole reason they exist is to rush us, I swear that's their whole goddamn purpose in life. We got armor piercing rounds, we got machines the size of buildings, we throw both of them at those things and our shit just breaks. I swear Pandora's tryin to kill us. Fuckin moon. Well guess what baby? I'm gonna open up your box and I don't care what kinda mess jumps out, gonna take those goodies inside right away from you anyway. I wish to hell command would quit worrying what people back home think and just let us nuke this place into cinders.

Just about to go give em the ol security briefing. I love security briefings. I love seeing the smiles on the newbies' faces like they think I'm joking, or like they think they know what rough is. They don't take it seriously. I remember the ones who smile. Retards. Gives me more time to prepare my figures on how many reinforcements I'm gonna need to make up for their deaths.

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Chacon, T. Personal Journal. Y2153 Entry 129.

It's pretty damn weird how life works out sometimes. You know who's coming to Pandora? Fuckin Jake ass Sully. I wouldn't have thought I'd ever see him again.

It's been hard. I'd never say it to him, but yeah, it's been hard. I mean I never said anything to him before. No point buckin that trend, I guess.

I think he's gonna like it here. I like it here and me and him always did things pretty similar. Yeah, you can't be an idiot, you gotta follow Pandora rules, but once you get used to that? I'll tell you this, I flew a lot of places back home, but I ain't ever flown through the middle of a floating mountain.

I wonder why he signed up? He was lucky, had his whole family still. Last time I saw him was in that VA hospital with his legs like wilting little rose petals. Did he ever get that fixed? Being an avatar driver. Heh, wonder if you can do that without a spine.

But it'll be good to have someone to hang out. Nobody likes to hang out here. They'll have a beer with you, they'll tell jokes, they'll trade stories, but they don't know who you are and they don't give two shits neither. I mean I've made a couple friends here, but each time I do they do something stupid like walk into some thanator's home turf or shoot a viperwolf for fun when its family's nearby. I wasn't even that upset about hearing they died. I don't wanna hang around the kind of idiot that'd do that anyway. God, I am so fuckin lonely sometimes. Heh. Good thing this shit is private, I swear.

I hope Sully isn't like that now. But then, I never thought he'd do what he did back home either. We'll see. That piece of shit. Missed his silly ass.

Gonna make sure I get assigned to cart his team around. Grease that wheel, baby!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

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Selfridge, Parker. Personal Journal. Y2153 Entry 19.

New Year's is almost here! I mean in civilized places, at least. Who the fuck knows what month it is in this hellhole.

Some more creatures tried to get in here today. Quaritch keeps telling me he thinks this planet is trying to kill him. He is definitely not the least paranoid man I've ever met, but sometimes I wonder if he's actually right on this. This time it was a pack of spitters. These things are giant carnivorous plants with springy 100 foot roots they throw out in front of them and use to slingshot themselves forward, and at the end of that they launch these giant missile looking needles as fast as a bullet. I mean, like, _what_? And how do four of them just randomly show up to rush the same part of the base all at the same time?

But whatever. The new reinforcements are just a few Earth months away, which is great, because that means my new clubs are just a few Earth months away! The putter has this new technology some genius just came up with that supposedly makes it hit the ball much straighter and more true to your aim. Which is great, finally a putter that can work with my skills instead of against them. Not that this God forsaken planet has anywhere to actually play.

Oh, and some pilot chick down in the ass of this operation wants to make sure she gets assigned to cart a new avatar driver around once he gets here, that cripple whose brother walked into a bullet just before shipping out. Didn't ask why, doesn't really matter. You know what never hurts? A little more money.

I'm assigning him to Augustine's team, so I guess she's signing up to hang out with that ice queen too.

Speaking of the Plant Lady, I got ten thousand on her not showing up to New Year's again.

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Chacon, T. Personal Journal. Y2154 Entry 87.

Well he finally got here. Bastard. Been looking forward to this for what, a year? Not counting the years of thinkin about him without ever thinkin I'd see him again. I swear, I shouldn't even be disappointed anymore. When somethin goes wrong, I shouldn't even care. No shit it went wrong! That's what everything does, man.

I picked him out of the crowd from 20 meters away, walked right up behind him, tapped him on his little shoulder, and waited for him to turn around and smile at me and yell at me and hug me. I'd gone over it in my head a million times, ya know? But in none of my walkthroughs did he ever turn around and just say, "Yes?" And look to my chest for my tag, which I wasn't wearin, like he didn't fuckin know who I am.

"Trudy? Trudy Chacon!" I said to him. When he heard my name, he smiled and put his hand out. "Hey, been a while, huh? Didn't know you were out here." That's what he said. Not, Wow, what a coincidence! Or, Whoa, it's great to see you! Or, Holy shit, if my pelvis worked you'd be in for a helluva rough time tonight! I mean after that, we joked around a little bit and I gave him a little walk around the place, but still.

Man. I... fuuhhh. I really thought it would be different. How could he forget me?

Anyway, Selfridge actually came through for me, which is kinda amazing in itself cause I doubt my savings even put a dent in his wallet. I'm gonna be flyin him, Augustine, and this other new avatar driver around. When I told Sully he'd be flyin with me and Augustine, he sounded excited. I guess he hadn't met Dr. Augustine yet, heh.

By the way, this other avatar driver, Norm? Seems like a real good guy. Kind of a brain, but you know, in his own way... he's really not all that ugly.

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Jakey, 719.

I don't even know how to describe it. The sky... it's so blue. We had that sayin, you know? "He's so gullible, you tell him the sky is blue today and he'd run outside to see." Well shit! I see it right now. Lookin forward to flying pigs and hell freezin over later tonight. Although, honestly, the shit I've seen so far, flyin pigs wouldn't even make me bat an eye.

Quaritch is the security man here. I've met him before, or at least people who look, walk, and talk just like him. He gave us this whole fire and brimstone thing today about how dangerous Pandora is. Thought he was full of shit. Don't know if you heard, guy, but they still got a jungle down south with real live animals, even some dangerous ones! Think he saw me smilin, heh.

But naw. On the way back from the briefing there was an attack. I couldn't really see what was happening, it was so far away and my eyes haven't adjusted to how bright this place is yet, but something fucking big was coming at the AMP suits, and it looked like more than one. Asked the guy next to me about it, he said attacks like this happen all the time. Sure as hell never saw anything like that before.

You know who's here? Trudy! Yeah, Trudy Chacon. That takes you back, right? I hardly recognized her at first. She's been here for a while now, looks harder, sadder, and a little more like she's trying to beat depression by faking a smile. Probably doesn't even realize how different she looks. But it's pretty cool to have someone here I know already, especially considering how standoffish most of the others seem. She said she's gonna be driving me around, even. Hadn't thought about Trudy in, man. Guess I don't even know! After six years go by in an instant, it starts gettin pretty hard to judge time.

The mess hall here is just like the ones on Earth. You hang out with your own rank and class, but that's about it. Mess was alright, heard some jokes, heard some stories, but it's not real. After lunch everyone went his own separate way and then at dinner I don't think anyone sat with the same people they sat with at lunch, or even remembered their names for that matter. Trudy's pretty much the only person I saw who really seemed to want to talk with people. Except the avatar drivers.

I met some of em today. This Dr. Augustine seems like a total asshole, real know it all kinda bitch. If I had to pick an asshole here so far, I'd go with Quaritch all day. At least I know how to deal with a guy like him. She keeps going on about how she doesn't want guns around the avatars, and she says I'm a gun regardless of whether I'm holding a weapon, which, by the way, heh, I will be. Had to kinda chuckle at that, but meh, I dunno know what her problem is. Her assistant is this guy Max, seems nice enough. And then there's Norm Spellman. Reminds me of a couple of Tommy's friends, guys whose heads probably still haven't recovered from the noogies I used to give em. Seems like a good guy.

I don't feel so hot by the way. After cryo some idiot next to me was going on about how bad it was to not be able to get up and stretch his legs for six years. Yeah. Yeah, no shit.

By the way they want me to start doing journal entries on their own logger from now on. Way fancier setup than this old thing, not really sure how to work it yet. Might have them link the two files so I can enter or listen to entries from both on each.

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Dr. Grace Augustine, PhD. Avatar Video Journal. 5-?-2154.

A new avatar driver showed up today, Dr. Norm Spellman. Norm comes very highly recommended as an intelligent hard worker who's logged about as much experience as you can without actually being here. I'm happy to have him on the team, we can use more like him.

Of course we also got this worthless new joke, Jake Sully. I remember hearing his story. His twin brother was apparently some genius linguist with a PhD in zoology and training in conflict and dispute resolution, but he was murdered just before he could ship out. For some reason I'll never understand they asked Sully if he wanted to come instead, and for some reason he said ok. Who is he? He's an ex-marine, no education, no training. A fucking marine! Like ex-marines haven't fucked this place and my work enough. I was pissed off when I first heard about this, and now that I finally have to deal with it I'm more pissed about it than ever. Went off on Selfridge for it even though I knew it wouldn't do any good. I'm sorry for the life this guy had back home, but that doesn't mean I want him screwing things up here instead.

Fucking Selfridge. Why they gave that unserious piece of a shit such an important job is beyond me. I understand that money talks, but hell, I didn't know it could shout a boulder up Olympus Mons.

Anyway... So, new Faith pictures just came! Four years and however many months ago, she was the most beautiful girl in the entire galaxy. Hey, and birthday pictures. Wow, look at that. That's, uhh... that's a lot of candles! Haha ohhhhh boy. She's really that old, huh?

What a strange thing. I know that as I look at these pictures, I'm looking at the past. These pictures are like going into a time machine. The Faith here is already gone, and has been for years. I know that if I left to go see her today, I'd wake up what felt like tomorrow morning and hug a 30 year old woman who'd sent pictures to nobody for years before word reached her that I still wouldn't be home for a couple years more. Light is still the speed limit, and they all claim it always will be. I know all that. But the non-scientist part of me leaps when I see her face. Maybe she'll walk into the room all of a sudden... Gosh, she looks so tall! Heh, come on Grace...

I know her father raised her well. He's a good man, it's the only way he could have. And I know he picked a good woman to be her step-mother. But that doesn't change the fact that I wonder every day if coming here was the right decision.

Don't worry, baby. We're gonna figure everything out up here. I wouldn't have brought a new generation into a world with no future. Hell. I _didn't _do that to you. You'll have a future and so will your children. I promise. We're working as hard as we can here, Faith. I love you. Mommy misses you so much. Ughhhh... sometimes you just, you know, you have to make hard decisions to protect the things that really matter. I hope you understand.

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Quaritch, Miles. Personal Journal. Y2154 Entry 59.

Some more new meat got here today. Report says we got this kid Sully. Busted up cripple, disgusting to look at, but that ain't important. He's an avatar driver _and_ an ex-marine. Yeah! A marine, heh. Holy hell, what luck. I pulled his file, turns out he knows what life really is too. Kid was on duty down in Venezuela, fucking wasteland of trees, one of the few places left back home we ain't taught to sit still yet. Did some real mean things down there, heh. Fuckin whole families of rebels! And what'd he get for doin his duty? Got a bullet right in his lower spine. Yeah, he knows what life is. It's a mean trick and the only way to beat it's to be even meaner.

Says he's from North Carolina. I went there once. It was just like back home, you know. Most places are. Busy, dark, the food sucks, the air is funky. Good ol' Earth. Boy I'd trade this hell hole for that funky air in a heart beat any day.

Anyway I'm gonna try to get him to figure out how to kill these goddamn monkeys. I know they're not gonna give in, that's just a fantasy. Selfridge thinks persuasion's cheaper than wasting bullets and bombs and the money it takes to replace a dead soldier. But you know what's even cheaper? If it was me, I'd just send for the nukes, straight up. I'd bide my time til those suckers got here, then boom, enough of that superconductor shit to keep us going forever, I don't care if we gotta mine it wearin hazmat suits. But orders is orders, so I'm gonna have Sully see what makes em tick, not to figure out how to get em to leave, but to figure out how to get em dead. He'll do it. Heh. He's done worse to better.

Had to send my monthly back home to HQ today. I wonder what they think about this, lucky bastards. People back home are like those fish my son used to have. Floatin around doin whatever the hell it is a fish does, totally oblivious to what keeps em goin. It ain't free! Holy God, it ain't free. I mean sure, they know about unobtainium, they know it's what keeps the whole thing going and they probly even know the race is done without it, but that's just somethin they read in books. They don't know fifteen of my men were killed by a single thanator this morning. And it only took meat from one of them. Fuckin, I hate this place so goddamn much.

He used to sit there pokin those fish for hours. How many fish I end up buyin that boy? Seems like every other week he'd need a new one, heh. Used to laugh for hours about how funny they looked floatin upside down like that. How old is that boy now? Er. I mean, you know. Would he have been.


End file.
